Things to Remember When Continuing a Relationship after Infidelity
Choosing
to stay together after infidelity is a huge decision; it will require
sacrifices and adjustments. Infidelity causes traumatic experiences to a
person. It causes loss of trust, feeling of insecurity and less loved.
Here are some
things to remember if both of you choose to continue your relationship despite
the circumstances:
Be
Honest and Transparent
The
victim of infidelity might have some big issues trusting the other party again
but honesty is the key. One needs to be
honest and transparent to his partner even if it means sacrificing a little of
your privacy. Allowing your partner to check your messages, social networks,
and phone will give them the idea that you are no longer cheating and that you
are being honest.
Infidelity
can turn your relationship upside down and it will greatly affect one’s trust. But,
remember that honesty begets honesty. If you are the victim of infidelity, it
does not give you the right to cheat on your partner; just be honest despite
everything that had happened. If he commits the same mistake, then at least
you’ve done your part of being faithful to him.
Expect
Mood Swings
Being
in a traumatic experience will cause sudden change in their mood. The feeling
that they’ve been cheated and lied to is very painful. Infidelity causes fear
and it can also damage their self-esteem. And because of this, it can cause
reoccurring dreams, unwanted thoughts and flashbacks, and even intense anger.
All
you have to do is to understand them. Never get angry when they are, don’t be so defensive and when they ask
you questions (I mean a lot of them and most of the time it’s all the same
questions over and over again for weeks or months), just answer them calmly and
with all honesty. Remember that you cannot calm an angry person with the same
anger that they’re throwing at you.
Choosing
to be in a relationship is hard, what more would it be if there is infidelity?
We cannot just easily buy a manual like “Staying in-love 101” or “The
Step-by-Step Process of Curing Infidelity”.
Seeking
support from common friends, family, and even some religious institutions is
helpful. People will give you insights based on their personal experience that
is somewhat related to yours. It is easy to let others in, your friends and
family because they become the leg that supports your relationship. The feeling
that there are people who support your decision as well as your relationship
somewhat shows that being together is a good decision and that someone believes
in your relationship.
And
remember that in everything, God is there. He is our biggest support system.
Make Him the third party of your relationship.
Love
Your
partner might lose their trust but never could they easily lose love. Remember
that both of you, from the very beginning, are so in-love with each other. And
one doesn’t lose it that easily. Each of us made mistakes in our life, no
matter how small or big it is; we just have to accept that we are not perfect
and we should learn to forgive ourselves and others.
Love
is the cure because in the first place, it is also the same reason that both of
you decided to stay together. Bear in mind that love is an outcome of
acceptance, honesty, respect, trust and of course, understanding.
One
must learn to accept that people make mistakes cause they aren’t perfect; be
honest to trustworthy enough; respect your partner’s decision; trust in
goodness, that every person has goodness in their hearts, all we need to do is
give them a chance to prove it; and most importantly, understand them.
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Every
decisions we made comes with sacrifices, all we need to do is to make sure that
everything is worth it. Choosing to be in a relationship with someone whom you
unconditionally love gives you happiness but at the same time it also gives you
pain and heartaches. But isn’t it worth all the pain and heartaches? Of course
it is, simply because in the first place we cannot truly be happy unless we
have felt pain and rejection.
So
if you are one of those couples who chose to stay to be together despite all
the challenges your relationship have been through, well, I am so happy that
there are still couples who chose happiness and love. Stay in love and happy;
make that second chance worth it.
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